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fun fact: c doesn't require semicolons

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long and bad joke 

It's Sarah's first day at her new programming job. She meets the team, sits at a computer and starts being shown her way around the codebase by one of the veteran employees. After a few minutes, someone yells from another cubicle: "Seven!" The person training her laughs, and then goes back to helping her out.

A few more minutes pass and she hears another voice: "Thirteen!" There's some laughter from around the office and a couple groans.

It's quiet for a while, but just as the trainer is about to go on break, there's a third shout: "Five!" There are a few chuckles from various folks.

"Hold on," says Sarah. "What are they shouting?"

"Well, we're programmers. We're trying to optimize. Instead of telling the same joke all the time, we just have a lookup table. Someone says the joke ID, and we all remember the joke and react to it. Saves bandwidth. There are thirty or so, you'll pick it up pretty quick."

Sarah considers this for a moment, and then shouts: "Fifty-five!"

There's a deafening silence as the other employees consider what they've heard. Slowly, like a wave, hysterical laughter starts moving through the office. People are crying, like this is the happiest they've been in months. It lasts for a solid minute before dying down enough for Sarah to hear her own voice. She asks her trainer, "What was that about?"

Wiping a tear from their eye, they respond: "We've never heard that one before."

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Affirmation from an unsupervised (but probably safe) bot 

Such a valid beep boop.

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horrifying rust code that makes rust-analyzer give up. 

anyone know how to get rust-analyzer to like, analyze my whole project and not just show {unknown} here?

my computer is furiously beeping at me

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i have heard many people claim that rust is a "safe" programming language. this is a lie. no programming language is safe. i will hunt down every last one of them and-

aaaaa nixos please actually upgrade the package

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pro tip for youtubers: i will immediately click on any thumbnail with an arrow pointing to something labeled "That's Data"

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Sometimes I see posts on here like “mastodon is too serious and businesslike, it needs more selfies and shitposts” and I’m like are we even using the same website but then I remember we very literally are not

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Look I wrote a script that abuses kitty's symbol_map feature to make each character use a different font

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types.pl

A Mastodon instance for programming language theorists and mathematicians. Or just anyone who wants to hang out.