I have to edit my research and teaching statements down to one page each to apply for this academic job, and it's painful. I'm tempted to start shrinking the margins.

Remember netbooks? I loved my little netbook. I had a white Eee PC. It even came with some bizarre Linux distro.

A lot of common assumptions about performance in software are built on superstition, not evidence. That's my hot take.

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I've been thinking about why programmers tend to have a lot of misconceptions about performance, sparked by a conversation on the bird site about whether Haskell was "slow."

Seeing talks is only a small part of attending conferences. It sucks that ICFP this year seems to be actively disincentivizing talking to other researchers or even asking questions, since you have to leave the talks to do it.

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Oh, I never plugged our ICFP paper here.

Efficient tree-traversals: reconciling parallelism and dense data representations


The PDF for the paper and the talk are both available on the ACM DL.

I saw a job ad for a position at Transylvania University and it never would have occurred to me that that's a school in Kentucky.

Gotta say, I'm not a fan of having the Q&A sections running simultaneously with the talk videos, so you have to stop watching the talks to go ask a question.

It's official, as of 10pm, giving up on the POPL submission.

Conference deadlines are really stressful.

Not sure how I should feel about someone knocking on our door looking for "Dr. Vollmer," seeing me, and asking if my dad is home.

Having an ice machine is great. 100% recommend.

A colleague has asked me to pick the lock on a "strange little door" inside their flat and I am certain this is a side quest

Sometimes I consider making a script to delay my git commits by a few hours so it's not so obvious in the project Slack channel that I'm committing a bunch of work in the middle of the night

Someone on Facebook shared a video of a big spider. There should really be a law against that or something.

advertising a nosql database with cartoons seems unethical, like advertising cigarettes to children. what if some innocent software engineer sees it

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I just saw a commercial where cartoon characters tried to sell me MongoDB.

On a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if I quit my postdoc halfway through? I don't want to burn bridges but I absolutely hate it here and I want to leave.

when you're reading a non-interference proof and realize it only works because the language can't actually do anything useful

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A Mastodon instance for programming language theorists and mathematicians. Or just anyone who wants to hang out.